The world (American society in particular) will offer you one day of honoring your mother loss, and maybe some will be there in the weeks and months after for support. Despite her decades of impact on you and others, her funeral will last a few hours, and then the world will move on. The streetlights will change, the stores will open and close, all without a second thought to your world being turned upside down. But Jesus will not move on, he’ll be with you in every moment if you choose to seek him.
If you lost out on a loving mother because of narcissism or emotional absence, the world might hardly acknowledge your loss. They may even question its existence altogether. But Jesus will fully see your pain and meet you in it.
The world will soften what you went through by couching your mother’s death in euphemisms such as “passed away.” But you won’t be able to live out their softened version of events as you will be forced to face reality, her death. “Passed away” doesn’t feel so accurate when you’re facing Christmas without her warmth and love. Or grappling with the reality that she’ll never lay eyes on your child, let alone be able to love them. Permanent separation from a loved one can feel too bleak and cold of a reality for such nice words.
That pain gap between where the world is willing to go and the harsh reality you face often leads to loneliness. But Jesus is willing to go all the way in. He will face your heart shattering reality as he walks with you in the valley of the shadow of death.
The world will not offer much purpose for the pain you’re experiencing from mother loss. Just that it was a tragic event, a heartbreaking occurrence. Some might offer “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” which might be true for some, but sure isn’t comforting. Jesus will use your pain to draw you near to him, and create beauty, redemption, and righteousness from your suffering you never thought possible. He’ll comfort you the whole way instead of allowing you to muscle through the pain on your own if you seek him. I know because it happened to me.
Our world shies away from death and family estrangement, glossing over its immense pain in favor of positive, happy topics. But Jesus will meet you in the deepest, darkest places of your soul where most human beings, no matter how kind or patient, won’t go. He offers solutions such as his everlasting presence and perfect love that the world simply cannot match. If you choose to go without him, you are missing out on his goodness, which delivers peace that surpasses all understanding. Take it from someone who’s lived it.
Let me be clear: allowing Jesus into your pain does not mean you’re expected to be completely rid of the grief and heartache mother loss brings. You’re not expected to turn a switch and be happy all the time because of Christ. But if you allow him to transform your heart by seeking him in regular prayer and study of his word, the pain won’t have such a strong hold over you. In time, he’ll fill you with such hope and love that your loss won’t have the final say over your life. You may even find you start to feel a sense of inexplicable abundance, which is the outpouring of his love in your heart.
And one more thing: this is not to say that people can’t shoulder the burden of your grief. They absolutely can, and it’s what Motherless Daughters Ministry sets out to do every day. But what people can do is only a tiny glimpse of what Jesus, the son of the living God, is capable of. People can ease your soul, Jesus can restore it.
What will you choose?